Your Essential Guide to Anal Play
If you’re a newbie to anal play, whether alone or with a partner, it can be intimidating. There’s considerable hesitation for many people thanks to all the myths and misinformation out there. Some worry that it’s “dirty” or wrong. Some are nervous that it will hurt or be messy. Meanwhile, others just think it’s too difficult or just won’t feel particularly good. They’re all valid concerns and thoughts, but they don’t have to be true! When practiced safely and smartly, anal doesn’t have to be this big, scary thing nor does it have to be painful. In fact, it can be extremely fun and pleasurable. That being said, though, there are a few things to keep in mind when getting started. Read along to find out our essential guide to ensure your experience is safe and sexy.
As much as everyone loves spontaneous sex, anal really isn’t really the avenue for that. It takes some necessary time and prep, including the first step of cleaning out. To ensure everything is nice and clean before playing, empty your bowels then use a douche or enema. Note: these almost always come pre-filled with a saline laxative, but you don’t want to actually use that. It provides a deep, sometimes irritating clean that we don’t need for anal. So, instead empty the bottle, refill it with plain (no soap!) lukewarm water, and use it as the directions say. Just be sure to give yourself plenty of time for all the water to come out. Generally, you’ll know you’re clean enough when the water runs clear.
Use All the Lube
It should be obvious but it bears repeating: use lube. Not just lube but lots of it. Unlike with vaginal sex, there is no natural lubrication being produced by your body. That’s just not how the anus works. In order to put anything up there, whether that be a finger, a penis, a butt plug, or a dildo, you’ll need it to be nice and slick. If you’re just using hands or are barebacking with a penis, silicone lube is really good since it stays slippery longer. If you’re using toys, condoms, or just don’t want to stain your sheets, use a water-based option. Note: We highly encourage the use of condoms as anal sex increases the risk of HIV and general STI transmission, and highly discourage the use of anal numbing creams. Contrary to popular belief, anal sex and pain do not go hand in hand. If there’s pain, there’s a problem – you don’t want to numb that out.
Just like you stretch your muscles before running or lifting something heavy, you need to stretch your anal muscles some before you can safely have fun with anal. To do this, start very slowly. Use lots of lube and gently just tease the rim, working your way into actual penetration with one finger. Keep breathing and stay relaxed. Once one finger is comfortable, work your way up from there. Anal training kits are especially useful here as they’ll have various sizes of plugs that you can use to reach your preferred size. Once again, if you run into pain, there’s an issue. Either you’re not loosened up enough, you’re too tense, or you need more lube. Readjust and stop if pain continues.
Always Use Flared-Base Toys
Trying anal play with toys? That’s great! Just make sure whatever you’re using always has a flared base. Unlike the vagina, the anus actually extends quite a way back, leading to the colon, and has an element of suction involved. If you’re using just a plain old dildo or toy and penetrate too far and lose your grip, that could turn into a problem real fast. To avoid an embarrassing emergency room visit, just follow this tip.