Beginner’s Guide to Using (and Choosing) Dildos

Exploring the world of different sex toys can be intimidating. There are so many out there and so many different ways to use them. Even dildos, a slightly more straightforward choice, come with a bit of a learning curve. How are you supposed to pick one? What should you look for? What’s a good way to start using them? To help you out, here’s a brief beginner’s guide that tells you everything you need to know when getting started.


Choosing the Right Toy

Before you ever use your first dildo, you’re going to need to buy one! Unfortunately, this isn’t as easy as it may seem. Not all dildos are created equal. Some are big and girthy while some are small and thin. Some are extra firm, and some are kind of floppy. Some are pin-straight while others are intensely curved. And none of this is to mention that some dildos are made of great, high-quality materials while others are, well, not so much. What your body prefers is entirely individual, but there are a few general tips that all should keep in mind when buying their new toy.


  1. Don’t go too big right off the bat – Some people are size queens and that is A-okay! However, it’s best for beginners to err on the side of caution. As tempting as it might be, it’s probably best to leave 8-inchers for later on down the road.


  1. Don’t buy too cheap…or too expensive – Cheap sex toys are usually a no-go. They’ll often include all kinds of not-so-body-safe materials that can risk your health. Also, they tend to be less durable and overall just not great textures. Avoid this, but also don’t go overly expensive. There’s always a chance your choice won’t be the right fit and you don’t want to be out a lot of money if it wasn’t for you. Aim for between 40 and 80 dollars as a general rule of thumb.


  1. When possible, go silicone – Silicone isn’t the only good material out there, but it is one of the best. It’s durable, it feels good, it’s body safe, and it’s easy to sterilize. It’s a win all around and ideal for beginners and the more experienced alike. Just don’t use silicone lube with silicone toys! It can react with the dildo and degrade it over time.


Lube, Lube, and More Lube

So, you’ve chosen the right dildo for you. Now you’ve got to actually use it. First thing’s first though, lube. Use lots and lots of lube. The more slippery things are, the better. For most dildos and toys in general, a high-quality water-based lube is best. Need a little guidance? Don’t worry. We’ve got a whole guide for that, too.


Slow and Steady

Make sure you start nice and slow. Get yourself turned on first however feels best. Indulge in a fantasy, read a steamy book, watch a hot porn, and something else entirely. The choice is yours. Once you’re plenty aroused, slick your dildo up with plenty of lube (yes, even if you’re worked up and/or wet already), and slowly rub it against yourself. Start just teasing yourself then work your way up to full penetration. Go slow and shallow at first and allow your body to acclimate.


Play Around with It

Using dildos is a great way to explore your body and what feels good. Lean into that and play around with it. Try different depths and speeds. Alternate between slow and fast, light and hard. Maybe experiment with temperature play or find a way to integrate a kink into your playtime. Maybe even try anal or think further outside the box. Dildos are also great for practicing blowjobs or, if you have the equipment for it, frotting. Just have fun, try new things, and beyond all, enjoy yourself.

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